depression era

yes, the depression continues. christmas day is getting nearer and yet i see no happiness in sight. i put up our tree this weekend, thinking that a bit christmas spirit might creep in my dark dark heart, and yet still nothing.

i am so darn sad. is this a physical thing? maybe i have an imbalance of sorts. what will i tell the doctor should i have myself checked up? doc, i am sad all the time. what 's wrong with me? am i going to be ready with whatever his answers will be? what's wrong with me... the list might be toooo long.

is there a cure for unhappiness? mid life crisis?

please tell me...soon. coz i feel like i'm actually losing it. i feel like i am nearing the end of my sanity. being so unhappy can't be healthy right?

please. let me snap out of this...

crappy day

of all the days in a year, a person's birthday is the worst day to make her crappy. i am so sad.

depressed

i am a sad sad sad person.
a person struggling for control and yet this elusive control keeps slipping off my fingers.
i am a sad old person, declining rapidly everyday.
i am nothing.
not a good mom. not a good wife. not a good daughter. not a good sister.
i am not good.

i am a person out of control.

i am worthless.

i am in a very dark place.