bakit ako

indulge me. let me write share this one... in my native Filipino.

bakit pag ikaw ang walang pera, ang pera ko ay pera mo.
bakit pag ikaw ang may problema, ang problema mo ay problema ko.
bakit pag ikaw ang may kaaway, hanggang huli, kampi lagi tayo.
bakit pag ikaw ang nahihirapan, para sa yo lahat gagawin ko.
pero ihip ng hangin biglang nagbabago, pag ako naman ang nangangailangan sa iyo.

pag masaya, pag maluwag... tayo, tayo.
pag bayaran na, pag problema na, ako na lang, solo.
sasabihin mo pa, di na tayo nagmature. are you sure?
palibhasa wala na naman akong pera, kaya ang tayo balik na naman sa ako.


wag kang magsalita, talo.
magsalita ka, talong talo.
tanggapin ko na lang kaya. ito ang kapalaran kong sadya.
magbayad ng utang, maghagilap ng pera, mamroblema, lumuha.
tama, wala nang magagawa.

di nga ko sinusuntok, di nga ko sinasampal.
pero bugbog pa rin ako, kahit saan ako lumugar.
sugatan ang puso, puno ng pasa.
wasak na ang pagkatao, matang wala nang iluluha.

dapat lagi na lang akong meron, para sa mata mo'y may halaga.
dapat laging nakangiti, malungkot ma'y wag pahahalata.
dahil pag wala akong pera, pag ako naman ang namomroblema
pag ako'y dapang dapa, yukong yuko
imbis damayan, anong maaasahan ko sa iyo?
drama, iyakan, tapos babaliktarin mo lang ako...
muli na naman akong makakarinig mula sa yo...
"bakit ako? lagi na lang ako?

atonement

i just watched the movie. i was hoping to read the book, but since i just have no time, i just opted to watch the movie instead. to sum my opinion of it, it was depressing and yet strangely, i liked it.

it is a story set in old england with snobby rich families having snotty, bratty kids. there was this one kid who early on had a knack for being a writer. she even wrote her own play, with plans of actually getting her cousins to act on it. this suggested that she has a very creative mind and rich imagination. a series of events then unfolded before her eyes and well, she interpreted them differently than they actually are. she judged, and she over reacted, and she condemned.

the rest of the movie was spent on unraveling tales of misery and sadness by everyone involved on that fateful summer evening.

the setting was great. the trees and seas helped a lot in depicting the contrast between the characters' despondent state and the lush and breathtaking surroundings. it was particularly striking, when the movie showed that scene in the forest, where everything was green and fresh, and then all of a sudden there were about fifty children, wearing black, laying on the grassy floor, massacred. it still gives me shudders.

i loved the actors. kiera is great as always. james mcavoy was also wonderful. they little girl was really annoying which tell a lot about her acting... really realistic.

atonement. i loved it. a sad movie with lessons and great scenes and acting.

A rebellious act

I always considered myself a good daughter. I never made friends with the wrong crowd. I acquired no vices while growing up. The only rebellious act I can remember doing is having a boyfriend at 16, when my mom explicitly told me not to.

I didn’t do it to actually diss my mom. It’s just that I felt I was old enough to make my own decisions. (although looking back, 16 doesn’t seem to be that mature now).

I am a strong believer that when you meet the right man to spend the rest of your life with, you’d want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. That’s exactly what I had written down on our wedding invitations, eight years after my tearful confrontation with my mom.

Hubby is the living evidence of my single rebellious act, and well, it seemed to be all worth it, he’s proven himself through the years. It’s just that I met him a few years too early, and was afraid to let him go even considering our young ages.

So what if I’m tagged as a rebel at some point in my life, it resulted in my happy ever after didn’t it?

commited i am

Like stones, words are laborious and unforgiving, and the fitting of them together, like the fitting of stones, demands great patience and strength of purpose and particular skill.

Edmund Morrison


that's it. i have decided to commit myself to my craft. yes, i my mind i will consider myself as a budding writer. i will learn and practice, and then learn and practice some more.

i am not in it for the fame and money, but for the personal gratification that i have done something with my life. i am a writer, and i will write!

butch dalisay in the flesh

i was wandering about in powerbooks trinoma last saturday when i saw they were having a presentation of sorts. i then heard a man with a deep, solid, confident voice explaining something. ( i too caught up with the velvety voice to actually listen) hehehe. i kept on wondering who is he? is he a political figure? a media practitioner? i was not really sure, but having his talk inside powerbooks, he definitely has something to do with the written word. so i kept on hovering about. after a few more minutes, the talk was over, and the moderator introduced the mysterious speaker as the distinguished mr. butch dalisay.

i was in awe. i have one of his books. i read his article in the newspaper. he is a writer advocating the art of writing. my kind of guy!

too bad, that i made a sad realization. i think i am too shy to ever be a writer. in my mind i kept on kicking myself... why didn't i approach him? take his picture? talk to him?

how can i ever get into writing when i am too shy? how will i get stories? interview sources? argh! so frustrating! shyness is an occupational hazard i have to get rid of.

too bad. i hope i meet him again. probably by that time i would've read his book.

finding time

being a "writer" is not easy. it is very time consuming. you really need to choose to spend time everyday just for writing. as they say, writing is like playing a musical instrument. you need to practice everyday to learn your craft before you can actually get better.

i will do it.

i will be a writer.

let me start again

hi blogging world! i'm back! it has been a while since i posted. the holiday buzz and my work kept me from my blogging. so how is life? boring and dead dry as always.

my dreams of being a writer? dreams still.

hope this becomes reality soon. i hope to take formal lessons.

this has not been a very good start for the new year for me. i was depressed on christmas eve, and on new year's eve. not a very good sign of things to come? i hope not!

i keeping a stiff upper lip. i'm trudging on.