The Pleasure of Writing

I am not writing because I've become too wrapped up in rules in writing
and dos and don'ts of writing. I love writing down just what I feel when
I feel it, but I read somewhere that writing is a discipline and that I
should write everyday even in all I write about is just nonesense. I've
gotten so caught up with the hope to write better that it has hindered
me from writing freely. When I am writing I tend to be overly conscious
about rules and this hinders me from writing freely. Which brings me to
one good practice, I guess it's better to just write a draft. Write
freely and honestly. Then re-read it again for some adjustments and
corrections.

The reason I can't overcome this is because I have the tendency to
obsess about these things. When I found out that I should do everything
I can to improve my writing, I bought every book I can lay my hands on.
I bought and bought them but I failed to read them all the way through.
I lack follow through I guess. I cant get over this because I fail to
just sit down and write, even when I feel there is nothing to write
about. I wait for the urge to write, and believe me the urge does not
come easily.

The benefit I get from not writing is... nothing really.

Turning it around

I am glad that I am now over with my obsession with writing rules. My
writing is now flowing fluidly and my ideas are pouring on to paper
freely. I am not bothered at all by the rules and my main concern is to
translate my thoughts into words.

I am now enjoying my time to write. I am having the time of my life
recording my life into my writing. I find writing exhilarating and
therapeutic. I feel much better after having written down my thoughts. I
cherish my time I have in front of my computer and notebook since it has
been a gateway to free my mind of any baggage I carry around. Writing
has been a privilege rather than the burden I always thought it was.

"Dial M" For a Not So Funny Joke.

How can we take these people seriously when they don't even take
themselves seriously? How can a former government official go on
national TV, lambast known politicians on air, in the midst of a
grueling campaign season and then say that the whole darn thing is one
big fat joke, when pushed against the wall by a senatorial hearing. His
talk show is a comedy show after all.

FYI, no one is laughing at your "joke", everyone is laughing at you.

A Toast for Toast Box's Delectable Fare

Friday nights are Berto and Kwala Date Nights. We didn't really choose
the day, it's just traffic is so terribly horrible on Fridays that we
choose to wait it out, hoping that by the time we hit the road, the
traffic would have eased up.

Last Friday, we decided to try the dining offerings of Toast Box, a
Singaporean restaurant located at the 3rd Floor of Greenbelt 5. We've
passed by the resto a number of times and I've always been intrigued by
the bright and cozy interiors. I've been bugging the hubby for a dinner
date there. He's been making excuses, but the last time we passed it, we
noticed that they offered one of our favorite chow of all time,
hainanese chicken! That was all the convincing that Berto needed. We
went inside and were surprised to note that although it looked like a
semi-fine dining resto (the interiors looked a bit like that of Rack's)
actually wasn't. We had to line up and give our orders to the counter.

Toast Box's interiors gave off the shabby chic feel. Almost everything
was painted in white, emphasized even more by the bright lights. White
wooden tables and chairs, scattered around the restaurant, reminded me
of those comfy sets one can find on porches (if you had one) or by the
breakfast nook (if you're English, I guess). There are also some couches
available for those who want to lounge and drink coffee comfortably. It
exuded a laid back atmosphere.

Since it was our first time, we asked about some items on the menu, the
girl manning the counter dutifully answered our questions, albeit
unsmilingly. In the end, hubby settled for his favorite, a hearty
serving of hainanese chicken (P239), which came with greenish looking
rice and ginger/soy sauce dips. Hubby enjoyed this dish! He said it was
flavorful and the chicken had just the right texture. I opted to try
Nasi Lemak (P225) which turned out to be a huge portion of fried chicken
leg served with coconut rice and fried egg. It also came with an
interesting siding of sweet-spicy dilis and beans. I was pleasantly
surprised that it didn't taste like the usual fried chicken, it was more
flavorful, not to mention really crunchy. It tasted more like crispy
pata than fried chicken. Yum! We washed our heavy dinner down with
their Iced Lemon Tea (P30), a strong blend of brewed tea with 2 slices
of lemon. BURP!

After that sumptuous dinner, Berto and I decided our tummies still had
room for dessert, and I will share our dessert goodies in my post.

With Toast Box's savory fare and huge servings, food was indeed value
for money. We'll definitely come back for more.

Take Your Time

My little girl is ecstatic. Today she goes back to school. She kept on
asking me what grade she is in, and when she'd get to first grade. (Last
year you were in nursery class. Now? You're in kinder class. And then?
Prep. And then?...)

I remember feeling that way when I was a kid.

Impatience.

Impatience to grow up soon, impatience to finish school so that I can at
last play all day long and not be forced to have my afternoon nap,
impatience for more responsibility. I wish I can tell my daughter to
take her time. Enjoy. Time will come when you'd want to stay a young
student forever. That way you don't have to brave torrential downpours
just to get to a job you don't particularly like, you can sleep all day
with the excuse of burning the midnight oil the night before, you only
have to open up your palm and blessing will be bestowed upon you (aka
allowance) and you can read loads of (pocket)books with adults' approval
since they feel reading can improve your vocabulary. You can make
mistakes and learn from them.

Take your time in growing. Enjoy the new experiences and the friendship.
Make mistakes and learn from them. Love with all your heart. Savor your
youth. Take chances. Dream, and dream big. Be brave, and baby, live
well.

Missing My Mom's Handwriting

I remember my mom's handwriting vividly. She had beautiful handwriting.
It's a gift she failed to pass down to both my sister and me. It was
lovely and charming. Girly yet powerful. Mostly I remember her writing
when she made excuse letters for me when I got sick and had to miss
school. I remember how I loved the way she wrote my name...(Please
excuse Karen from being absent...) her capital K was so feminine yet
strong... I never liked my name. I always thought it was so short and
simple. I felt it wasn't special enough. But not when my mom wrote it, I
felt she scrawled my name with all the warmth and love in the world. I
felt special.

I also remember her staying at our kitchen table writing long letters to
my dad who was working overseas. This was way before the age of emails
and chats. It was during a time when only a privileged few had the honor
of owning telephones in their homes. Writing was their only way of
communicating with each other. I never thought of my parents as sappy
and romantic, but in their own way I guess they were.

She would write on her thick yellow pad using an old metal fountain pen.
Its ink bottle, still in its original box all blotched with ink stains,
always ready by the side, in case she needed to refill. She wrote in
beautiful and seamless longhand. I always admired how she wrote her long
letters, and believe me they were long... She kept our father up to date
with the daily humdrum of our household, the quizzes we had and how we
did, who got sick with what and even the latest scandal in showbiz and
the local news.

I guess miss my mom's handwriting because it mostly reminds me of my
youth. I miss how things were.

Mostly I just really miss my mom.

No School for Two Days

I was surprised when I saw the notes on the little one's school diary.
They had no classes for two days. In an effort to keep the teachers
healthy in body, mind and spirit, the school will be sending the whole
school's faculty off for a two-day retreat. Hmmm... I have a question...
It is only July, school only started last June. They had the months of
April and May to conduct their retreat... why didn't they have it then?!
Or they can also opt to have it on a weekend, but no... Does this mean
they also want free days off work? That they wouldn't want to encroach
on their employees private/home life so better on a work week than on
weekdays?

When I was still a student, I used to love it when we didn't have
classes... My parents didn't approve. They used to rant about how they
didn't like this one bit and how it was a waste of our money. I didn't
understand then, I fully understand now.

Two days... what a waste!

Weight-loss Insanity

I read somewhere that a symptom of insanity is doing something over and
over the same way but sincerely hoping to get a different result. Yes,
it's the story of my life.

I often refer to my college days as the good 'ole days. Sure, I had the
most fun with my friends at that time plus I did so well in school. But
these are not the reasons why I loved that era. I loved it for the
simple reason that when I graduated from college, I weighed exactly the
same way as I weighed on my first year there. I was thin! My cheekbones
were visible even with my face at rest, (no sucking in the cheeks just
to check if I still HAVE cheekbones) My collar bones were ever present!
I was a medium and I can buy clothes in free size.

After I graduated, I took on an office job that I didn't really like,
but many approved of. Being the "good girl" that I am, I stayed on,
thinking I'd eventually like it...

This must've had an effect on my psyche. Depression set in and pounds
started to pile on. Slowly but surely, 20 pounds crept in. After I got
married, my excess pounds welcomed their friends who invited other
friends and soon they have a party on my thighs and midsection. I nearly
had a panic attack when I realized one day that I tipped the scales at
almost 200 pounds!

To say that I've had trouble keeping the pounds off is an
understatement. I have tried various ways of losing weight, from going
vegetarian, going to the gym, trying fad diets, drinking protein shakes
etc. If I weren't budget-constrained, I'd probably gone off already for
a liposuction.

I'd binge, I'd gain weight, I'd be remorseful, I'd try to lose weight.
I'd lose SOME weight, I'd binge, I'd gain MORE weight than I initially
lost, then I'd feel remorseful and the vicious, frustrating cycle begins
again! What's pathetic is I start my latest diet/exercise regimen with
the pure intentions and strong determination... until I fall again into
the temptation that comes in the forms of pizza/chocolates/chips etc.

Hopefully someday I find the determination to permanently choose to be
healthy... then probably the insanity will end... probably.