the poem of my heart

The Lie

by Wikket

Woke up this morning

Trying hard to hide my melancholy

I joined you for breakfast

And we continued our lie

Every day it is similar

You are cheery

And so am I

Our terrible lie

Can you imagine a time

When we awoke and did not speak

Realizing our moods would cause tension

Tension caused by too little life?

I do wish sometimes

As I leave for work sullenly

Dreading the day already

Weeping far within

The lie, terrible and unending

Would cease to be

And I would know the real you

And you the real me

But, the lie drags on for now

For it is not written in the stars

And perhaps it will never be

I am my own companion

The dreaded truth

Gathered in a lifetime

Sentenced for an eternity

Realized too late

depression era

yes, the depression continues. christmas day is getting nearer and yet i see no happiness in sight. i put up our tree this weekend, thinking that a bit christmas spirit might creep in my dark dark heart, and yet still nothing.

i am so darn sad. is this a physical thing? maybe i have an imbalance of sorts. what will i tell the doctor should i have myself checked up? doc, i am sad all the time. what 's wrong with me? am i going to be ready with whatever his answers will be? what's wrong with me... the list might be toooo long.

is there a cure for unhappiness? mid life crisis?

please tell me...soon. coz i feel like i'm actually losing it. i feel like i am nearing the end of my sanity. being so unhappy can't be healthy right?

please. let me snap out of this...

pain is not my friend.

just got back from the hospital. my complaint: terrible back ache.

i went to the hospital hoping to find explanation and cure why the heck i am feeling this much pain... only to find none. i was just given pills for the pain.

i commuted on my way to and from the hospital. it was only now that i really understood the depressing state of our local roads. i felt every bump on the road, i felt it on my spine. every pothole we fell into, i felt the shooting pain in my back! why oh why is our roads so FULL OF EF-FING HOLES!!?? grrr....

when you are in so much pain, it makes you appreciate little things in life. walking about pain-free. being able to reach down without clutching your back. sitting down, standing up, then sitting down again all within seconds, aahh, all blissfull memories for me now.

please let this pain stop. as if i am not riddled with enough emotional and mental anguish, physical pain is sooo hard to endure. ahhh... please... take the pain away.