having doubts

i am having doubts. i have always been like this. i procrastinate. i dilly dally.

what if i am not good enough to be a writer. i am not really a good anything. i'm not the best mom, wife, daughter,sister, friend,employee.... i'm nothing.

can i really claim to be a writer when i'm not really good at it? i am just really interested in doing it. personal essays. i love to write these types of essays because they serve as outlets for my venting. writing releases some steam and unloads some thoughts i can not really say out loud. it is a way to get around my uber shyness. i jsut really like to write about myself. does that constitute being a writer? does that justify my dreams of being a writer?

i have bought tons of books about being a freelance writer, a feature writer, making a killer query letter and a lot more. i am so overwhelmed. i have always thought that this is the perfect profession for me since i am so shy because all you have to do is face the laptop. boy, was i wrong! to be a good writer, you have to interact with lots of people, experience life, in order to get materials and ideas for topics to write about. and then there is the issue of getting an interview... argh! how will i do this?

right now, i still have no answer. i still love to write about myself. i will just keep a tight upper lip and keep trudging on. i will just continue to write and practice my writing.

i will continue doing the thing i love to do.